in today's economy,

creative marketing is essential.


(thx ben)

i'm passionate about things

sometimes i get SO into my cooking, i literally get into it. which sucks 'cause then nobody wants to try a bite.

pet peeve

i think it's really rude when people on car dealership commercials and stuff say they "bla bla español." like, at least respect the language enough to learn the word for "speak."

big whoop.

i don't know why celebrities make such a big deal out of starting a clothing line. ooh, congratulations, you aren't going to use your dryer today!


and why do they need models walking down a runway showing off all the clothes they're going to hang on the line? geez, we get it! you have fancy clothes! shut up already.

great, now what?

i bet this guy was real annoyed when skeezy loan sharks came on the scene.

crab leggings

a mother's day tale

rapologies

my name is amber
and i'm here to say
i'm a really bad rapper
and i like it that way

so if you like rap [here's the part of the song where i say it so fast that you can't tell if i said "rap" or "crap," ok?]
and you ain't no fool
then get in line
'cuz it's time for school

you put some words
on the internet
other people read 'em
and they're like "what's thet?"

you're all "that's my blog!"
and they're like "yeah right"
and you're like "no it's true!"
and they're all "get a life"

and you say "i have a life
it's where i get ideas
and then i write them down
and they show up right here" [temporary british accent]

and they're in disbelief
'cuz they don't understand
you're trying to explain
but this is not going as planned

so you take a step back
and you're all "yo this is dumb
i'm talkin about blogs
but this guy's clearly a chumb" [which is short for chumbawamba, which means REALLY lame thing]

so you go back to your house
and open up your blog
and you put this little rap
into the internet, dawg

and now you're reading it
thinking "ahoy there, cap'n!"
'cuz neither of us knows
what just really happened

GOOD NIGHT, LOS ANGELES!!

you'd think nature would've found a solution for this already

don't you hate it when you're snuggling in bed with someone and you don't know where to put your third arm?

discontinued shapes

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: Deceased Literary Figures!

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: Religions!

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: Better Foods!