a jehovah's witness? nope: a ghost. try again.
have you heard the good news? i was just wondering -- i haven't really heard any news since i became a ghost. "current events" aren't really a thing since my time is eternal now. earthquakes? plagues? meh, talk to me in 10,000 years when i'm still here, just hanging out.
that's why i ask about good news, it cheers me up for a minute. but what's a minute, anyway? i bet you think you know what a minute is. "oh it's 60 seconds, or 1/60th of an hour." great job, math boy. go pick up your trophy from the principal's office. guess what? everyone you love will die.
i'm sorry, i'm having a rough time. i'll leave. it's fine. there are other windows, other living souls out there. enjoy your dinner. that pasta looks amazing. enjoy it while you can.