Sep 8, 2017

Amber's Guide to the 7 Deadly Sins



Take a listen. I done broke it down for ya real quick to keep ya outta hell:

  • Lust = Oglin
  • Greed = Moneygrubbin
  • Gluttony = Piggin out
  • Pride = Gettin all hoity toity
  • Wrath = Hootin an hollerin too much
  • Envy = Lookin over at somebody else n bein like "gimme that"
  • Sloth = Ain't doin shit

'Welcome.


Jan 6, 2017

Fun Mom

here's an example of the kind of fun thing i would do as a parent:

kid is 16 years old, it's christmas, there's no present under the tree. kid goes, "where's my present?" i go, "your present is too big to fit under the tree! why don't you go out to the garage and take it for a spin?" [knowing smile]

kid runs to the garage, opens the door, and this is what's in there...

...

..

.


and we laugh and laugh.

Jan 3, 2017

the strangest thing to happen to me in 2017

are you ready for a true-life mystery that will send a shiver up your spine, in one fluid motion not unlike the zipper on a coat? well have i got a story for you. it's about the zipper on my coat.

yesterday i was taking down my christmas tree, and i got my old coat out of the closet so i wouldn't get sap on my nice one. i haven't worn this coat in over a year. i went to go zip it up and discovered the zipper was UPSIDE DOWN. it UNZIPPED my coat, and only when i zipped it downward did the zipper stick together, kind of. i made this video to explain:



how could this happen? did the zipper get turned around in the wash? did someone replace my zipper in effort to pull off the world's stupidest prank? am i wearing the coat upside down? i don't remember the last time i was this confused. birth, maybe.

finally i sat down to text the video to my friend, to see if i could get any help solving this mystery and to confirm the world was still spinning and that i was still alive in it. that's when i looked over and noticed the top zipper, stuck at the collar, and remembered this coat has two zippers -- one that zips, one that unzips from the bottom -- and always has.


anyway, happy new year!