Nov 17, 2020

iOS 14.2, an exhibit

The ambericaonline gallery welcomes iOS 14.2, a series by phone artist Amber Hollingsworth that explores the relationship between the temporary, the permanent, the self, and a wedge of cheese under a box. Showing now through whenever the internet goes away.



Touched by the Majesty of Nature


Olive Surprise


Can't Fool a Giraffe


Where Pita Bread Comes From


Visiting a Friend



Contact the artist for a price sheet. You'll probably be pleasantly surprised.

Nov 9, 2020

Really cool ending for a courtroom-style TV show

(Free to use, just put my name in the credits please.)


[20 minutes of regular court stuff happens, like detectives walking around a murder scene, an investigation in a little cement room where someone slaps the table, the prosecutor is a real asshole, the defense lawyer is flawed but her heart's in the right place, and we forgive her flaws because we saw some of the things she's dealt with over her lifetime in some previous episodes, etc.]

Just as the Judge is about to bang her gavel, a woman in a suit and heels runs in and whispers into the Defense Lawyer's ear.

DEFENSE LAWYER

"Your honor, I've just received some new information that will basically blow all of your socks off."

PROSECUTOR, looking super bitchy

"Objection!" 

JUDGE

"Ignored! I want to hear this new information. And it better be good -- I was just about to do my favorite part of my job." Points to gavel.

DEFENSE LAWYER

"Oh, it is. You saw how fast my assistant ran in here. She wasn't just asking what I want on my Jimmy Johns sub." 

Looks at jury, jury smiles and nods their heads, they are hungry too. Defense lawyer winks.

PROSECUTOR

"Your honor! I saw that."

JUDGE, real fast

"Losersayswhat?"

PROSECUTOR

"What?"

Jury laughs, Judge winks. Prosecutor is all pissed off now.

JUDGE

"I'm just kidding. I like to have a little fun in my court. Anyway, tell us this news!"

DEFENSE LAWYER

"Your honor, I just received word that my client couldn't possibly have committed the crime in question. You see, my client DIED three weeks ago! He is a ghost!"

Everyone gasps, one juror drops her Jimmy Johns sub.

PROSECUTOR

"This is outrageous! I can see the defendant right there!"

DEFENSE LAWYER

"Oh, CAN you?" Gestures to defendant, who starts to go see-through.

PROSECUTOR

"But..."

Quick flashback to different scenes in the show. We realize the defendant hasn't said a word in three weeks, but we just thought it was because he was sad.

Judge is about to bang her gavel again.

PROSECUTOR, furiously looking through her notes

"WAIT! You said he died three weeks ago. Well the murder happened three weeks and one day ago! Just because he's dead doesn't mean he didn't do the murder!"

Jurors raise their eyebrows like "good point." Defense lawyer is caught off guard, starts looking through her notes for a calendar, looks over at assistant who is standing by the door. Assistant shrugs.

JUDGE

"Dang it, you guys! It doesn't even matter! The law says you can't convict a ghost because they would just slide right through the prison bars!"

Everyone looks back at the defendant, who is now disappearing through the wall with a pretty guilty look on his face. Defense lawyer is like "omg did he do it??" to herself. But she's pretty sure he didn't -- maybe he was just feeling guilty about not telling anyone he died earlier. It's hard to read ghosts' expressions.

DEFENSE LAWYER, to Prosecutor

"I guess no one wins this case. Though, I win it a little bit more than you because my guy is free."

Prosecutor pushes folders off the table and storms out, more pissed than ever.

JUDGE, banging gavel (finally)

"I declare this trial SO WEIRD." Jury chuckles a little bit.

 

FINAL SCENE

The Defense Lawyer is at the local bar with her assistant and some other people from the office. The bartender hands her her drink, and she accidentally brushes his hand with hers when she reaches for it.

DEFENSE LAWYER 

"Whoa, your hand is so cold!"

She looks up at the bartender and he is the ghost from earlier. He winks at her.

THE END