thiiiiiink abouuuuuut itttttttt...

you know, every halloween we put pumpkins on porches, but i bet pumpkins think they put us inside houses. i mean, as far as they know, the only reason we HAVE porches is so they have a place to sit each year. we go to school, we get jobs, we save up, and we buy houses JUST so we can put them on our porches. and really, isn't that kiiiiind of true? don't we all kiiiiind of do everything we do for the sake of pumpkin comfort and satisfaction? isn't our whole lives just one big tribute to pumpkins? aren't we all walking around just waiting to sacrifice ourselves, our children, and our children's children to a pumpkin whenever it commands with just the slightest of indications? i mean that's preeeeeetty much how it is, right? you guys think that?

anyway i'm really looking forward to halloween this year!

because how would you know?

guys we should all just be a little more vigilant when it comes to air travel.

thinking ahead

probably one really important thing to put in our next time capsule is a container for a new time capsule, because it sounds like the future's gonna be out of quite a few things: water, oxygen, trees, social security, dolphins, fossil fuels, space. and there's nothing more embarrassing than having to use last era's time capsule.

christmas gift idea

for you.

i love taking panoramas.

To: Johnny

¡Feliz cumpleaños! Como yo no sé español muy bien, estoy usando un traductor en línea para escribir este mensaje de cumpleaños. Espero que pueda dar sentido a mi poema:

Es tu cumpleaños
Todo el mundo sabe
Eres un año más
Desde la cabeza hasta los dedos del pie
Uh oh, que no rima : /

explains:

sometimes blog posts come to me in my dreams, and 99% of the time i wake up disappointed in how juvenile my subconscious sense of humor is ("get it? it has the word "butt" in it!!"). but last night i knew i was onto something because immediately after i invented Inceptios, the cast of Saved By The Bell came together for a live reunion show! they had a whole dance routine (on their knees so they wouldn't look too tall for the lockers behind them), and screech forgot his lines. after the show, my family and i went grocery shopping and saw that screech worked at the meat counter. my mom texted me from another aisle to ask if i thought we should let a neighbor or someone know that screech works at the meat counter because he may be suicidal.

anyway i woke up feeling pretty good about blogging today!

A new cereal by Christopher Nolan

he's a real shit-for-brains.

*which there ISN'T

if there's one thing i like about bugs,* it's that they don't give a crap about what they wear.

horizontal stripes

black and brown together

trucker hat