today we celebrate the earth's birthday, or earthday. no one knows for sure how old the earth is, but my grandparents told me it was old when THEY were born, so we're talking like, hundreds of years here, people. it almost seems like we should be looking to the earth for bits of wisdom or something! haha, nah.
anyway a really good way to celebrate earthday is to do something good for the environment. for example, i was inspired the other day by a group of gentlemen who must've belonged to some good-samaritan organization, because they were all dressed in bright orange jumpsuits picking up trash along the highway! i wanted to pull over and tell them they'd gotten the wrong day, but one of them looked at me real mean and slid his finger across his throat, so i just kept driving. oh well, it's the thought that counts!
another thing people do on earthday is dress in green and go around pinching other people who aren't wearing green. green is an indicator of how much you appreciate the earth, and if you're not wearing green that means you should go find some other planet to live on. the number of pinches a person gets lets them know just how much they're not welcome here. get outta here, buddy!
finally, pretty much the best thing you can do to celebrate earthday is just have a great time. i mean, earth invited us all here, we don't want to sit around awkwardly and make it feel bad. it has so much to offer, after all. such as pizza, sweet rockin' tunes, and dance floors! let's party!!
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