EARTHQUAKES
here in portland, we're due for a huge earthquake that will destroy everything and no one will be able to leave or contact their families for approximately 3-4 months (source).
what are you going to do?
might i suggest the ipad game "jelly splash." you connect the different color jellies to complete the level, but with an endless variety of challenges and bonuses, you can literally play this game for HOURS. trust me, you will not get bored while stuck under the rubble of your apartment building waiting for emergency rescue personnel to find you.
FIRES
the best thing you can do in a fire situation is run away from it. do you have sneakers? are they the sneakers you want to wear in a fire, getting soot all over them? and good luck getting that smoke smell out! no, you do not have sneakers. go to nordstrom rack and sign up for their credit card -- you get a $20 coupon for every $1,000 you spend there!
SERIAL KILLERS
honestly, serial killers are pretty clever, otherwise they'd just be your average run-of-the-mill murderer. so there's not much you can do to prepare for a serial killer besides make sure your facebook profile pic is the one you want on the news.
WHEN YOU BROUGHT YOUR LUNCH TO WORK BUT IT'S NOT VERY SATISFYING
just go to chipotle!
well, i hope you feel more prepared. i definitely feel like i've done a good deed by sharing these tips with you. you kind of owe me one. so if there's an emergency, and i come to your house, you should split any food and water you have in your emergency preparedness kit with me. the only way we're going to survive this... is together.
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