food and butts

sometimes when i'm alone and trying to do things i call myself little nicknames as encouragement. for example, just now when i wanted to take a bite of a raw sausage because i'm hungry and don't wait to wait til it's cooked, i said, "eat a carrot instead, ya dumb bitch!" and then i did!

one time one of my best friends said to me, "you know your blog is only about how gross food is and how stupid computers are, right? you know that." and that's when i knew i'd found my niche! though i'd say over the years i've introduced more butt stuff into the mix. jokes about farts and toilets and such.

but really what's happening right now is i need to blog more, so here i am, and expect just a bunch more posts like this until i get good at blogging again.

"thanks for your patients!" -evil doctor after burning down his nemesis doctor's medical practice building and sending an introductory letter to all of his patients (he says it from behind a bush so no one hears him)